Placeholder.
Work all day. Grind type beat ass.
Digital screams, grass crop circles and an Abandoned shipyard.
Fetishes of outward appearances and possessions of pseudo knowledge and experience.
Contrarianism is not a merit within itself.
Take a small of knowledge of information and extrapolate absolute bullshit out of it and present it as genuine fact. Cap rate of 2 caps per minute.
The want for a new body is extremely corroding on the soul. Genetics and lookism can kiss my fucking ass, I am disgusted by the human race for it.
Peace within and for oneself is all you need. Dependence on others creates expectation. Glueing my eyes shut is not an option. I am no god.
Suicide on my fucking mind every day and night chronically for 5 years. I live the life of someone who should not be here on another timeline.
Unused creative potential rests and weighs within me. Schizoid tendencies slipping back in and mental health degrading.
I can only focus on improving my body, myself, subsisting capabilities, relationships and creative body of work. Everything is the execution of pattern recognition and the experience of emotion, however imperfect.
7 hours of the same thing. Ear mufflers made the unthinkablely loud machine on either side of my head sound like aeroplane passenger ambience.
A sub bass bed of warm noise underneath with gushes of compressed air.
A sleep deprived and noise induced headache with the urge to vomit for 2 hours straight.
Yume 2kki production or factory world seems like a map that should already exist but is simiply missing.
Caught in peak hour traffic and in heavy rain on the way home. 25 minute trip back becomes near an hour.
Happy to be back home with the want of nothing more then to sleep. Vauge ideas and ambitions of music and artistic visons floating in my head all day.
I can watch imaginary videos in my head and tune into fake radio stations playing music.
No longer bottlenecking myself by placing unfair expecations onto others. Working bymyself until I potentially find someone very compatible feels like the better option.
“Open the door on the gunshot of morning – work all day wounded”